I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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