Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm lost and stupid without you.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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