this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
