What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
