im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
