I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Randomize
