I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize