Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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