in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
