OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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