I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
