She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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