id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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