I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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