fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
