so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
