I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
