she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
