everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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