I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
