Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
