I just cut my nipple shaving
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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