I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
