erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
