I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
