I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm just crazy horny about you
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
