he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
