Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
They took my balls.
Of course I have a pirate flag
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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