Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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