Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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