Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
