Whod you bang
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
