Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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