Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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