I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
