"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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