Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
