please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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