Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
