i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
