Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
