what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
