my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
