I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
