It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize