He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
