In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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