Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
