Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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