Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Small penises have feelings too.
I cut my penus on the lid.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
