you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
two words: eviction party
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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