dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize