I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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