I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
