Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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