How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
