I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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