I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
