This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
