Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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