He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
